garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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