I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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