he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
