I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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