I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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