Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My vagina is very pro this idea
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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