Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
