do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
