Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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