Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize