What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
