kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
