I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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