Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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