lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
