Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Holy shit dude........stairs
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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