I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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