eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
