I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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