You can't motorboat a personality
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
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so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
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i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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