It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
