you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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