mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize