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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
