So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
