around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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