i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
40s are totally the cure
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
