Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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