But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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