i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize