it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
