he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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