hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
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Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
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I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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