when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize