I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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