I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
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