Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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