I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
