You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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