i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just forgot I was standing up.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
