I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
