he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize