I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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