Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
