I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
