So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
