Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
