I wish I only lived at night.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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