This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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