Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
