absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
