so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Omg I joined a choir last night...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
