saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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