jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize