so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
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You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
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I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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