My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize